THE LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT. . .

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?



Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.



Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words,

what happened the night of April 1st?



Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing

on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes

creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.



Defense Attorney: Did you know him?



Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.



Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?



Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?



Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.



Defense Attorney: Why not?



Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that

since my Abner died some 30 years ago.



Defense Attorney: What happened next?



Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?



Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.



Defense Attorney: Why not?



Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and

excited I haven't felt that good in years!



Defense Attorney: What happened next?



Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so

"spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take

me!"



Defense Attorney: Did he take you?



Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April

Fool!"! And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

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